Letter 2: Exploring Faith Without Crisis
Summary:
Dear Reader,
If you’ve read Letter #1, you’ll know that my journey didn’t begin with bitterness or rebellion—it began with love for God and a life devoted to high spiritual standards. I didn’t walk away from faith. I believe I walked deeper into it.
My first letter covered my background and how I came to see spiritual exploration not as a crisis, but as a responsibility—a sacred duty to pursue truth with clarity, courage, and peace.
In this letter, I want to share the turning point: the moment I gave myself permission to examine my faith honestly and rationally. I’ll talk about the mindset I adopted, the personal rules I followed, and the core spiritual principles I chose to guide my exploration. This wasn’t about rejecting God or truth—it was about seeking it more intentionally, with love, reason, and personal integrity.
These letters are for:
The curious and open-minded
Those dissatisfied with life or religion and seeking something more
Anyone in the thick of a faith crisis, or quietly wrestling with spiritual questions
These letters are not for:
The easily offended
Those who fear unfamiliar ideas
People already fully content with their current belief system (and that’s okay!)
Not a Crisis, A Duty
Commenting on religion, the 18th century French philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau critiqued: “Hence it follows that if there is but one true religion and if every man is bound to follow it under pain of damnation, he must spend his whole life in studying, testing, comparing all these religions, in travelling through the countries in which they are established. No man is free from a man's first duty; no one has a right to depend on another's judgment.”
Once I realized that it is my duty under the potential consequence of damnation to thoroughly investigate every detail of my religion and beliefs, it became clear to me that the process of investigation is not a “faith crisis” but rather an essential component of faith. God, representing perfect order and truth, must be found in rational logic, not in ignorance.
Now for those of you who are quick to judgment, you might be thinking “How could you question your religion? How could you challenge your leaders? Who are you to question the word of God?”
My answer is simple:
First of all, the scriptures promise, “ask, and ye shall receive,” indicating that asking questions and seeking answers is a divinely sanctioned process we are encouraged to do.
Secondly, I believe that God created us with rational, thinking brains for us to use not bury, and the scriptures counsel us to seek wisdom and to prove the scriptures. (1 Thessalonians 5:21)
And third, though perhaps unnecessary, because I personally live a life of love and integrity, I should be able to trust that the answers I receive are true.
“But what if you’re wrong? We can’t understand God’s ways.”
I don’t fear being wrong because I have studied it out and have a clear case. At the end of the day, my beliefs are based on pure doctrines and I have no problem standing before man or God arguing my position. I know I have done my very best to follow my conscience. Few people can say the same.
The Plan:
From there, I set out to make a plan for spiritual exploration that would align with my goals of finding peace and personal empowerment. Again, I wanted to go about it with my questions focused on truth. Here were are the rules I decided to follow:
“Faith crisis” rules I observed:
Always operate in a spirit of inner peace and love. That will be the ultimate proof I am moving in the right direction. God cannot exist in chaos. Love and peace are the ultimate outcomes of truth.
Don’t rely on unverifiable history as a basis for ultimate truth. If the doctrines are ultimately true, the history is irrelevant.
Follow the trail of logic and principle all the way through
Avoid being influenced by sensational or emotionally charged criticisms
Prioritize observable truth and verifiable evidence over speculation
Apply rules of reason consistently to every doctrine and belief within the system. No contradictions.
Focus on principles rather than people
Asses the “fruits” of the system as a key indicator of divine truth
Admit ignorance where certainty is unattainable, avoiding assumptions
Remain open to re-evaluating conclusions as new evidence or insights emerge
Evaluate the whole on its internal consistency, not its emotional appeal
Natural laws and consequences are the ultimate “laws” of God
A note on church history and people:
For many, history is a key part of their decision to leave a religion. I personally wanted more from my seeking though. My goal was to strengthen my faith and deepen my understanding of truth not become “anti” something.
While I do believe history is relevant, I felt that it wasn’t a reliable indicator of ultimate truth. From my observation, going through a religious deconstruction process focused solely on making sense of history often leaves people with overwhelming confusion and provides little in terms of joy and peace. For these reasons, I chose to omit it from my studies.
In my opinion, there is simply too much speculation and logical inconsistency. For example, if the God of the Bible is the one true God and He commanded the Israelites to destroy entire cities, killing every man, woman and child by sword, then the conquests and history of European Christians or American Mormons is of little relevance. Furthermore, if the Bible is the word of God, then Mormon polygamy can’t rationally be condemned either (nor the atrocities of any other religion).
All the evidence in the world proving modern atrocities and corruption, while interesting, cannot tell me who God really is or answer the questions of “who am I?” and “where am I going?”.
Likewise, the “people problems” in churches today are unavoidable regardless of doctrinal accuracy. Unfortunately, even perfect doctrines will not guarantee perfect members. That being said, how the “flock” moves as a whole gives some insights into the effects of those teachings and therefore its overall usefulness. We will go into this more in depth later on.
Identifying Core Principles
My next step was to identify my core principles as the foundation for all other beliefs. Over the course of a year of study and prayer, my list expanded, but these are the most fundamental and essential concepts I would use as a framework for assessing all other doctrines
Core Biblical Principles I Embrace:
Love and harmony are the foundations of morality. (1 John 4:7-8)
The counsel to put no trust in the “arm of the flesh” applies to all men. (Jeremiah 17:5, 2 Nephi 4:34)
God will reveal truth to our consciences and hearts. (Jeremiah 31:33)
If spiritual “authority” exists on a plane of enlightenment and purity, then leaders who do not embody these cannot be trusted. I am responsible for accurate judgment. (Matthew 7:15-16, John 7:24)
Spiritual power is universally accessible, not exclusive based on religion or gender. (Acts 2:17, Galatians 3:28)
Spirituality is rooted in enlightenment, not ritual or blind obedience. (Matthew 15:8-9, Hosea 6:6)
Heaven is who we become. Salvation begins here and now, not solely in an afterlife. (Luke 17:21, Matthew 6:34)
There is no such thing as “bad” experiences; all of life’s challenges are inherently good and offer opportunities for growth. (Romans 5:3-5, James 1:2-4)
Morality (and God) are grounded in reason. God did not give us a rational brain for us to discard it. (Isaiah 1:18, Proverbs 3:13-14)
Joy is the natural outcome of harmony with truth. (John 8:32)
Empowering individuals is a fundamental moral good. (2 Timothy 1:7)
Personal power begins with individual accountability. (Galatians 6:4-5, 2 Corinthians 13:5)
The rules must apply universally to hold any moral weight. God is no respecter of persons. (Acts 10:34, Romans 2:11)
God is supreme and unchanging. (Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 13:8)
Faith without works is dead. (James 2:17, James 2:26)
God is loving and merciful. (Psalm 103:8, Lamentations 3:22-23)
While many aspects of religion cannot be tangibly proven (rituals, stories, afterlife, etc.), I felt these were easiest to test in the heart, mind, and in the lives of those that live them. I also felt these core beliefs were the most consistent across religions and cultures and were the most in harmony with the doctrine of love.
So upon clarifying my intentions and strategy, I finally gave myself the freedom to examine my faith—not out of doubt, but out of a deep desire for truth. If mine withstood the test, I would continue the path forward with unshakable confidence. But if it could not, then I knew I would, in the search, uncover greater truth and a deeper peace.
After all, if a doctrine or religion is in fact truth, then it should be able to withstand any level of scrutiny. A faith that cannot be tested is a faith that cannot be trusted.
Even now, I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I firmly believe that this process of questioning with sincerity, seeking with wisdom, and standing with conviction are sacred acts, not betrayals. Although my rules and core beliefs may not work for you or your situation, I hope it can serve as a model for the process.
So if you haven’t, you may want to ask yourself: Have I ever examined my beliefs as if my soul depended on it? Have I sought for truth diligently with an open mind?
If not, maybe it’s time.
Sincerely With Love,
Heather N.
